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Over this past month, I have been sharing with you my exploration into one of Ayurveda’s most precious teachings: ojas, the subtle essence of vitality, radiance, resilience, and deep nourishment.

Ojas is the glow in the eyes, the softness in the skin, the steadiness of the nervous system, the feeling of being deeply rooted in yourself and thus, in life.

Ojas is our inner honey that allows us to move through the world with vitality, beauty, and grace.

Together, we’ve explored what ojas is, how to cultivate it through the ancient practice of Abhyanga, and the foods, rituals, and ways of being that help nourish this precious inner nectar.

If you missed any part of this journey, you can dive in here:

❀ Ojas Our Inner Honey: How to Nourish Our Nectar of Life

❀ A 5,000-year-old practice to nourish and lubricate the honey within 🍯

❀ Foods & Tips To Enhance Your Ojas & Oxytocin 🍇

As we close this month-long inquiry into these teachings, I wanted to leave you with a few of my favorite recipes for nourishing ojas from the inside out.

May they serve as small acts of devotion to your body, reminders to slow down, and invitations to tend to the wellspring of vitality that lives within you.

The cultivation of our subtle realms is more important now than ever…

If you make any of them, I would love to hear your thoughts or what turns out to be your favorite…

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She was an ethereal creature, a whisper of a girl, immersed deeply in ballet and anything written by any of the Brontë sister. She would see fairies fly in the garden that wore little bonnets made of pink petals. She also was surprisingly scrappy, in a tom boyish sort of way. Wearing a tank, no thought of a bra to strap on, and some worn OshKosh denims. She could climb redwood trees, when visiting her grandparents in California, and walk for miles if needed. All lanky, long limbed, awkward, but free spirited. At the sea shore, hours would be spent listening to the ocean sounds in sea shells, and wearing seaweed like a skirt. There was an endless desire and curiosity to know more about the world, and everything in it.

She was truly innocent of the cruelty of mankind, and she would rush to strangers to ask them 1000 questions about their lives. She dreamnt of traveling the world, and saving animals from abuse. She would mix herbs, flowers, fruits, and pond water in a sea shell vessel for hours concocting a “perfume” for her beloved mother.

The excitement for life and adventure was overwhelming at times. However; the other side of that spectrum was her empathy. Her sensitivity could be debilitating. Like the time her father took her to see a biblical film about Joseph and Jesus. She cried for days after, inconsolably, because of what they did to Jesus at the end of the film. Or like the time she saw her pet lamb go from grazing in the garden, to boiling in a pot. Her sweet lamb friend, its head looking at her through the pot lid on the stove, turned her into a vegetarian at a very young age. This was rural Iran, so there was no such thing as a vegetarian. Her parents would shake their heads not knowing what to do with this very stubborn, strange, and emotional creature.

This girl, pre pubescent, juxtaposed to the one that emerged years later is quite opposing. The one later, living in Los Angeles, post a traumatic escape from a revolution, post shame, having entered that arena in many insidious forms, post learning to suppress joy, was more of a sullen being. This incarnation was a sallow ghost, thin, quiet, very quiet, and obedient. That wild curiosity was now dormant, while worry had taken over. Worry, anxiety, sadness, as puberty came rushing onto a landscape that wasn’t prepared for it. She had had some inappropriate encounters with grown men, and been told that to forget to wear her underwear, would bring severe consequences. There were hard slaps to the head if she failed math, and the loss of home and pets. This girls nails were bitten down to the quick, and as her body changed, so evolved the desire to be as invisible as possible.

It’s taken decades to reconcile that lost girl in the cherry tree. That iteration of me, the hidden little girl that was my true essence. It has taken decades, as I enter my Second Spring, to feel safe enough to invite her in again. The imaginative, creative, curious, kind, funny, eccentric little girl that was locked into a lost portal, until it was safe to once again emerge. You see, that self is actually the key to meeting life with all its gifts. To access that being is to start the flow of abundance, and a soul retrieval to become whole.

During a woman’s Second Spring, the hormone of accommodation estrogen begins to wane. In TCM and other wise traditions, they believe once a woman begins to move into the next archetype from Mother to Priestess/Medicine Woman, she can recall her true self before the sex hormones took over. The being who wandered on the earth freely, before estrogen rode in hard like a tumultuous storm raining down attraction and desire. Estrogen that made her breasts swell, hair shine, and enjoy granting everyone’s wish. When taking care of others, became a biological need with no other option. Yet once that hormone begins to dissipate she asks herself questions she would never have dared before.

I believe that if you take time to incorporate that child being into your psyche the world will open up to you. Your dreams and goals may shift and realign, but you will be all the more powerful. Just as a broken vase can once again hold flowers, the cracked areas glued together, you can hold your deepest wishes and desires.

The day before the escape from Iran, during the martial law period, on a dark January day, she heard the dreaded sounds that to this day chill her heart and soul. The sounds of axes taking down trees. The landlord of the house her family was renting from, needed wood for heat since the gas companies had closed down. This was the chaotic period in Iran during the martial law that had been in effect for months. She woke up one dreary, January morning to hearing the sound of metal against wood. The sound of the chopping down of her beloved safe haven and friend. The destruction and demolition of her beloved Cherry tree. Since that moment is too close to me, too painful to recount, I choose to use Chekhov’s words to explain that moment. You see, he writes about it in his poignant play The Cherry Orchard. The play is ultimately about how the clash between nostalgia and progress affects an aristocratic family. The decline of the Russian aristocracy, in the name of social change where the modern, industrial world begins to demolish the grace of the old world. You don’t have to be a refugee as I was to feel the urgency and poignancy. We are all on the edge of an abyss in this moment in time not unlike turn of the century Russia, but what’s about to take over is AI and Government orders. Chekhov conveys that pivotal moment in history when the destruction of an orchard brings in the modern world.

The Final Act

Before departing, the family accidentally forgets their ancient, loyal servant Firs in the locked, abandoned house.

“The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] Oh, these young people! Life’s gone on as if I’d never lived. [Lying down] I’ll lie down.... You’ve no strength left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! [He lies without moving]. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, of a breaking string snapped, dying away sadly. Silence ensues, broken only by the sound of an axe striking a tree in the orchard, far away.”

Curtain.

An Exercise to help retrieve your pure self.

Write a letter to your pre adolescent self. Tell that version of you how you are sorry for having abandoned them. You can add the Ho’opnopono prayer for an extra clearing. After writing this, then list all the characteristics that you adore and miss about them.

Then you can write:” I now ask in the highest good of all, to integrate those pieces of myself into my adult self. I ask that this communion with those parts of myself bring more clarity, peace, wisdom, joy and fulfillment.”

Find a photo of that version of you and place it on your altar. Take your letter and fold it in 4s. Place the folded letter with your photo and leave it on your altar for 40 days. Each day bring an offering, it can be flowers, sea salt, lighting a candle, crystal, etc. And so it is . . .

Your inner nectar, your ojas, is deeply connected to how you move through life, because this essence, this subtle juice, is your feminine vitality.

This is the lubrication of your life force; it is the inner honey flowing through your veins.

And this part of us matters deeply right now, because it is connected to the subtle layers of the feminine. The layers that for so long have been hidden, distorted, or destroyed. And yet, because of their truth and power, they are returning, asking for our attention again…

There are many ways to tend to and cultivate your ojas, to nourish and protect this subtle inner nectar of life, and this week, I’m sharing foods & tips so that you can begin to tune into and cultivate your own ways of nourishing your nectars through food, movement, and embodiment.

Earlier this month, I shared one of my favorite practices here: A 5,000-year-old practice to nourish and lubricate the honey within 🍯

In this modern moment, when everything attempts to pull us away from our softness, asks us to override our bodies, push past our intuition, and constantly perform, going deeper and slower can realign us with our feminine wisdom and power.

Paying attention to the subtler threads within ourselves, cultivating and nourishing what we find there through steadiness, sweetness, and slowness.

Ojas is the subtle essence of our vitality and this is what gives us sparkling eyes, calm energy, sensuality, resilience, softness, fertility, magnetism, and deep aliveness.

I also believe that cultivating healthy ojas is related to healthy levels of oxytocin which I shared more about here: Creating Oxytocin for Abundance, Beauty, and Fulfillment 🦢

When our ojas is strong, we feel held by life. When it is depleted, we feel brittle, anxious, dry, exhausted, overextended, and disconnected from ourselves.

This guide is an offering of simple ways to nourish, protect, and replenish your sacred reserves.

SIGNS OF HIGH OJAS

Glowing skin and bright eyes

Thick hair and healthy nails

Calm energy

Deep sleep

Stable emotions

Strong digestion

Sensuality and healthy libido

Creativity and inspiration

Feeling rooted and nourished

Softness

Joy that comes easily

SIGNS OF LOW OJAS

Burnout or chronic exhaustion

Dry skin, hair, lips, or eyes

Anxiety and overstimulation

Feeling emotionally fragile or fearful

Insomnia

Hormonal depletion

Lack of desire or libido

Constant scrolling and nervous system fatigue

Feeling scattered or disconnected

Overworking and inability to rest

Brittleness in body or spirit

As you read these lists, which signs feel most familiar in your body and life right now? Do you feel more of the qualities of nourishment, softness, vitality, and steadiness… or signs of depletion, dryness, overstimulation, and fatigue?

Do you currently feel like you are living from your inner reserves - supported, inspired, sensual, and rooted - or does it feel like you’ve been running on output, stress, and survival for too long?

If your body could speak to you, would it say:

“I feel replenished, held, and full,”
or
“I need deeper rest, nourishment, slowness, and care”?

FOODS THAT BUILD OJAS

The way we nourish ourselves matters deeply. Not only what we eat, but how we eat, the pace we move at, the energy we carry into our meals, and whether we allow ourselves to truly receive nourishment.

Ojas is built through warmth, steadiness, mineral richness, softness, sweetness, and foods that are easy for the body to digest and absorb. In many ways, these foods feel like comfort. Ancient, grounding, simple nourishment that reminds the body it is safe to soften, replenish, and restore itself.

So much of modern life pulls us toward depletion through rushing, restriction, overstimulation, coldness, and inconsistency. Ojas asks us to move differently. To slow down enough to listen to what truly nourishes us. To bring warmth back into the body. To choose foods and rhythms that feel sustaining rather than draining.

These are some simple ways to begin nourishing your inner reserves and cultivating the subtle nectar of vitality within.

OJAS NOURISHING FOODS

Warm milk with saffron, cardamom, cinnamon, or rose

Ghee

Dates

Soaked almonds

Stewed fruits

Root vegetables

Lentils and kitchari

Bone broth or mineral-rich soups

Oats and rice pudding

Coconut

Sesame

Raw honey

Herbal teas

Figs

Warm berries

Rose jam or rose tea

I have also been loving Chyawanprash a beautiful rejuvenating multi-herbal jam.

OJAS PRINCIPLES AROUND FOOD

Eat warm foods over cold foods

Sit while eating

Slow down while eating

Avoid eating while stressed

Favor nourishment over restriction

Give your body consistency and rhythm

REFLECTIONS:

When I eat, do I truly allow myself to receive nourishment slowly and with presence… or do I often rush, multitask, restrict, or move through meals disconnected from my body?

Which foods, rhythms, and ways of eating leave me feeling warm, grounded, sustained, and deeply nourished, and which leave me feeling depleted, overstimulated, or disconnected from myself?

What would shift if I began approaching nourishment not from control, guilt, or discipline… but from devotion, softness, consistency, and care for my body’s sacred reserves?

I’m going to be sharing a few recipes next week, those will likely be for my paid subscribers, if you would like to receive those, I’d love to share them with you.

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PRACTICES THAT NOURISH OJAS

Ojas is not only built through what we consume, but through the way we live. Through the moments that allow the body to soften, exhale, and remember that it is safe to rest.

This subtle nectar of vitality is deeply connected to the nervous system, to our sense of being held by life, and to the quiet rituals that replenish us over time. Not through force, intensity, or over-optimization, but through steadiness, beauty, presence, pleasure, and enough spaciousness to actually receive ourselves again.

Many of us have been conditioned to move against our bodies. To override exhaustion, ignore our intuition, stay constantly stimulated, and treat rest as something that must be earned. But ojas grows in the opposite conditions. It grows in slowness. In safety. In warmth. In devotion. In moments where the body is allowed to unclench and return to its natural rhythm.

These practices are invitations back into that rhythm. Small ways of tending your inner world, calming the nervous system, and restoring the sacred reserves that allow you to feel nourished, rooted, sensual, resilient, and deeply alive.

DAILY PRACTICES

Deep sleep

Abhyanga (warm oil self-massage) tutorial and more details here

Breast and womb massage

Gentle movement

Time in nature

Moon bathing

Prayer

Resting without feeling guilty

Nervous system regulation

Morning sunlight

Evening wind-down rituals

Receiving support

Silence

Pleasure

Devotional beauty practices

I have also been using this beautiful Navel Oil from AmritaOne - you can use for a navel massage, and also drip a few drops into your belly button before sleep. A powerful ancient Ayurvedic practice.

NERVOUS SYSTEM PRACTICES

Left nostril breathing

Yoga nidra

Kundalini kriyas for calming the nervous system

Legs up the wall

Humming or chanting

Warm baths

Herbal oils

Reducing overstimulation

REFLECTIONS:

Which practices in my current life genuinely help my body soften, regulate, and feel nourished… and which habits leave my nervous system feeling more depleted, rushed, or overstimulated?

Where in my life have I been treating rest, pleasure, stillness, or support as something I must earn rather than something my body naturally needs to thrive?

If I devoted even a small part of each day to tending my inner reserves with reverence and consistency, what practices would my body most deeply be asking for right now?

THOUGHTS & WAYS OF BEING THAT BUILD OJAS

Ojas is shaped not only by what we eat or the practices we keep, but by the emotional atmosphere we live inside of each day. By the thoughts we repeat, the pace we move at, the pressure we place on ourselves, and whether our bodies feel safe enough to soften into life.

This sacred inner nectar thrives in conditions that allow us to settle into ourselves. In beauty. In presence. In slowness. In feeling supported rather than constantly bracing. Ojas grows when we are connected to rhythm, to nature, to creativity, to devotion, and to the quieter parts of ourselves that modern life often asks us to abandon.

And while there are many visible signs of depletion, often ojas begins to drain through subtler ways of being. Through chronic urgency. Through endless striving. Through consuming too much information, moving too quickly, and living in states of overstimulation for too long. Through believing we must carry everything alone.

To nourish ojas is to slowly rebuild trust with the body. To create conditions internally and externally that allow your nervous system to soften, your spirit to breathe, and your life force to gather rather than continuously leak outward.

In many ways, cultivating ojas is less about becoming more… and more about returning to what allows you to feel whole.

OJAS THRIVES IN…

Slowness

Trust

Reverence

Contentment

Sensuality

Emotional safety

Connection

Softness

Stability

Beauty

Presence

Feeling supported

Creativity

Living in rhythm with nature

OJAS DEPLETES THROUGH…

Chronic stress

Overexercising

Overworking

Constant ambition without rest

Doom scrolling

Excessive travel

Sleep deprivation

Hyper-independence

Restrictive or overly disciplined eating

Overconsumption of information

Chaos and overstimulation

Feeling unsafe in the body

REFLECTIONS:

What parts of my current way of living feel nourishing, grounding, and life-giving… and what parts leave me feeling overstimulated, depleted, disconnected, or brittle?

Do I create enough space in my life for softness, beauty, rest, creativity, and presence or have urgency, pressure, productivity, and constant input become my normal state of being?

If I truly believed I did not have to carry everything alone, what would I allow myself to soften into, receive, or release?

What resonates for you in this? Where can you see yourself implementing some of these ideas into your life? What parts of this excite or inspire you?

I would love to hear what’s resonating

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When did the invites stop arriving? Was it pre Covid ? Was it after? Was it when I moved states in more ways than one? When did friends that I’ve known for decades stop reaching out, or block me on social media? When was the exact moment the world became a line in the sand where we had to choose sides? Well I keep iterating who I am, but it seems people decide for you. No I did not vote. No I am not affiliated with any party. No I am not a red Pill, black pill, blue, or any type of a political person. It seems this makes people even more frustrated. The fact that I refuse to be placed with a label in a box. It seems that the act of moving across state lines, automatically places you in a position whether you choose it or not. I moved to Texas for many reasons, the primary being, my beloved and I had a vision to restore land and create a home.

I don’t really follow politics. You see, I honor and listen to the moral codes of the earth, the sea, the rivers, the trees. I listen to the ethos of Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Yeshua. You see, I honor the devas and Celtic folk insights. I ask guidance from my ancestors and familiars. I don’t decide based on what the media is suggesting, or influencers are spouting on about today. I try to attempt to walk the path of a medicine woman, and as a priestess. And if I do so, I cannot trivialize my life and others, by following a made up narrative that wants us to be separated. I cannot be a blue, red, liberal, conservative. In fact, I would be wary of taking any teachings from anyone who makes decisions based on the government. Also shouldn’t most priestess’s teachings be sacred and almost secret? Not Ai generated slides, but years of deep solitude and experience?

The Covid years, yes it was years, we were all subjected to energies that wanted us becoming enemies. Those years should have illuminated how absurd it all is. Those years when some yogis and wellness influencers, wouldn’t associate with anyone who didn’t follow rules the government imposed. Those years when you had to show your papers, your card, to prove you had an experimental shot that didn’t actually prevent anyone from anything. Those years that have now destroyed so many small businesses, restaurants, shops. We should have learned from those years.

I learned deep lessons. I learned that speaking your truth comes with a price. Not unlike the women who came before me who were called witches, I was ostracized from a world that raised me. Actually the parallels are uncanny. I was sharing how certain herbs and folk remedies could help those that were sick. This casted me out of society, considered to be blasphemous heresy. Trust the science, not your intuition! This was not very different from the witch hunts where mid wives and herbalists were burnt at the stake for using herbs to heal. However the stake I was burnt on was cancel culture. Hollywood and the fashion world were always good to me, seeing me for my aesthetic. Those industries had always opened their arms to me, something I probably took for granted. Growing up in Los Angeles, it seemed so easy. Post covid though, After those years though, it’s as if I never existed. Doors shut, friends disappeared, connections severed. This also occurred in the world of beauty. I remember a boutique in Brentwood ca, where I grew up, refusing to carry my line due to my decisions for bodily autonomy. It may seem archaic today, but just a few years ago there was a deep schism, a segregation in place, a witch hunt. I know many are forgetting and moving on. For many of us though, this flamed an ancient wound, the past lives of trauma from the witch trials.

So now I look around and I see all the division and I wonder . . . don’t people realize we are just pawns in a dark plan? I did not vote in the last election, because neither candidate represented my beliefs. On some ideologies I may lean left, on others right. Today the left seems to be the ones fighting for our earth against the Data Centers. The right seems to be demanding clean food for our youth and public schools. So I continue to tell my daughters, I am not affiliated with any party. I am affiliated with the red tail hawk that flies above me, the Salmon who are once again able to swim upriver in California, the whales that are not protected from the sonar waves that blast their ear drums, the wild pink grass that is now growing wild on our land, the vulnerable children who’s parents are incarcerated, the wind whispering in my ear on my walks. Those are the affiliations I trust and want to protect.

Do I miss dressing in Chanel, getting my nails done, (French tip before it was trendy again), and eating lunch at the Chateau Marmont? Well yes, those halcyon days of glamour and excitement shine bright in my memory. Do I miss art openings and gourmet restaurants? Oh yes, I do miss the electricity of culture in urban settings. Do I miss being sent clothes for free, and journalists asking my opinion on my favorite lip color? Well sure, it’s so rewarding to be respected and seen. Those moment of yearning though are fleeting. Those are moments for my ego to shine. My soul though? My soul is content. What will I remember when I’m in my nineties and rocking in my chair?

I ask and ponder this as I proceed to pour a cup of purple tea as I sit on the land by our old oaks. . As I drink the tea, I feel being held by the earth and the ancient aquifers beneath. Tears of gratitude stream down my face and I give thanks for this incarnation, this chapter, this awakening. There is no going back, like a river that flows to the sea. However; there, is the constant dance of evolving, shifting, learning, and becoming . . . And that is the gift of truth.

Neurobiologist Norman Doidge has described how the brain responds to aesthetics on a much deeper level than we thought. “Daily exposure to beauty reshapes the neural connections. Over 21 days, the happiness zones of the brain can grow by 15%. Aesthetics become a signal to the nervous system.”

In ancient eras, Priestesses were well versed on how Beauty is medicine. In his book “Beauty in the Light of Redemption,”Dietrich von Hildebrand explains that the purpose of beauty is not to satisfy the appetite of the senses but rather to orient one’s spirit toward the transcendent values, morals and ideas that lead us to God. Though they are our senses that perceive a beautiful piece of music or illustration, it is not our senses that find them pleasurable, but rather our spirits that find them exalting.

Priestesses served as physical vessels and earthly guardians to the divine world. In ancient times their bestowing of beauty with oils, dance, song and prayer was a salve and balm for the community. Beauty was revered for what it could enhance within us mortals.

I recently posted a note on how recent studies confirm that women thrive on oxytocin (The Love hormone) rather than dopamine. That checking off of lists, doesn’t actually fulfill what having a sensual morning, in a silk robe, with a beautiful latte can. Or an afternoon tea in French negligée and pearls.

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Over 17 years ago, I was in a dark chapter of heartbreak and health issues. I was coming out of a 16-year marriage and then a few years of a toxic relationship. I felt hollow, depleted, depressed. I’ve written about this in my book Whole Beauty, and how rituals healed my heart and health. One of the modalities I used was the Ayurvedic form of self-massage, Abhyanga.

For someone who had to learn self-love, and self-worth, the action of massaging myself became a powerful medicine.

Of course we now know all the benefits of this type of treatment. At the time, no one discussed lymphatic drainage or fascia work. Now we know that this ancient practice does this along with the release of trapped emotions.

I’ve written on my Substack on being our own medicine women, and this is part of the arsenal to keep our ojas fluid and alive.

Essentially, it is unwinding from the physical to aid and support the subtle mental and emotional bodies. This practice works to tonify the body, aid in sleep, strengthen tissue, and improve circulation. These are all benefits of increased pranic flow. Through the art of Abhyanga, we are working with the pranic flow within the body to connect to the pranic intelligence in the subtle bodies.

I am going to go into more detail on how this practice works to nourish your Ojas, a few of my personal favorite oils to use - and what oils to use for different constitutions (+ how to discover yours), the step-by-step breakdown of Abhyanga (including breast massage instructions and lower belly/womb oiling), a few songs to accompany you, and my personal process for both morning and evening routines.

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This month, I want to try something new. After many years in the wellness/health/beauty-related worlds, I’ve gathered many tools and practices that have helped and healed me.

I started my blog many years ago with this intention too, and have been thinking of ways I can bring these things more easily to all of you.

So, I want to bring even more of this to the paid tier of Substack in addition to my other writings with this experiment.

This month we’re going to dive into the world of Ojas ~ our inner honey, or nectar of life.

I’m going to be sharing my favorite practices, tools, foods and ways of being to stimulate our Ojas and nourish this deep aspect of ourselves.

Imagine you have a reserve or cauldron, within your being that is the motor for your health, vitality, and fulfillment. This well, or fountain of nectar, is what flows to all your body parts and enhances your essence. Imagine this like a bank account; it gets depleted over time, unless you make deposits. In Ayurveda, ojas is referred to as our honey or sap.

When you have a healthy reserve of ojas, your eyes sparkle, you are calm, sensual, and peaceful. I personally work hard on my ojas since my tendency to have more vata energy can overrun the balance of doshas.

In Ayurveda, ojas refers to the essential energy of the mind and body, translated to vitality. In fact, I know I have to work on filling my cups of ojas, by the texture of my hair and nails. Our bodies will give us incredible signs if we watch and listen.

In my book Whole Beauty, I discuss the ways in which we want to nourish our ojas. When we have low ojas, we feel more fearful, more brittle, with limited desire. In fact, your libido is in direct correlation with high ojas…

Come dive into four weeks of ojas with us…

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Are you drawn to water? Does the sea call you in your dreams? Do you have an image of water flowing on your computer? Are you drawn to images of waterfalls? Do you wonder why you feel so good when you’re by the ocean or river? It’s not just the negative ions balancing you. It’s a reawakening to the shores of where we begin to heal.

So many temples are erected by sacred water sites. So many historical references to water like rome’s vestal virgins, or lady of the lake Morgan in Arthurian tales. In French, the word for spring is source. Water from the womb of the earth is…living pulsing liquid source of us all. What if water is actually a deity and we are able to transcend illness and issues when we clear our waters.

We are mostly water and these waters are crystalline rivers within us – almost like a lifeline to the divine. The stars they say are water particles, and scientists now are proving humans & supernovas are related. Water has been holy throughout time. Baptism is far more ancient than Christianity. Variations of baptisms and water purification ceremonies have been used in ancient cultures including temples in Egypt, Greece, Bali, and other sites around the world.

There is recorded documentation of many temple sites having permanent bathing style water structure remains. In fact years ago, I had a very profound water healing by the Balinese water priestess Ida Resi Alit. The ceremony was in California, but when she poured a waterfall of water over my head, after a prayer meditation, I could feel lineages in my ancestry, across continents, begin to clear and heal from hardships.

I have traveled a complex spiral path searching for a deeper connection to source and my soul.

We stand at the threshold of the age of yin. Also we have just entered the age of Aquarius where there is so much acceleration. Yes there is still so much unbearable violence and injustices happening today, however many light workers say we are in an awakening time. We are in a shift going towards a new earth. We are witnessing the crumbling of old ways – the old piscean age, a futile rule through violence and corruption, that has been driven by greed and power.

I feel the lies that we have been told for eons are being unraveled, and the old Paradigm is crumbling. Today we all are demanding for a more harmonious planet. So many are demanding clean water, unadulterated food, clear skies, fertile soil, and healthy waterways. Many are listening to ancient remembrances, guided by Gaia and her feminine presence.

Ages ago, the sacred feminine influenced traditions, art, and daily life in harmonious unity. The sacred feminine, once worshiped, has become lost to us, but We are waking up, reclaiming ancient wisdom, casting aside labels of superstition and superfluousness. Our bodies mirror the earth and by reclaiming ourselves we can begin to then heal our soil, our children, our jungles, our forests, our oceans, our lineages, our relationships, our waters.

The masculine is also awakening. This is why I’m always careful to distinguish the dark corporate forces who are destroying the planet from the masculine. The patriarchy was a system that was corrupt, but that doesn’t mean all males are or were part of the patriarchy. In fact we need the male energy to be whole. Whether it’s in our beings (my Masculine energy is what is building this course) or our partners that are trying to find their footing.

There has been a war on the union of man and woman through the last several decades. A powerful union is holy and can create so much abundance, safety and resilience. Dark forces throughout history have been afraid of our union. This is partly why the destruction of wo - to man - woman was ignited. As the beautiful Cherokee quote states:A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed.”

“The Feminine energy inspires the Masculine to move mountains. She is the representation of his highest potential. She is the flame that ignites his passion. She is the Oracle who holds him accountable.She is the lover who soothes his soul. She holds the codes for his abundance in the new earth. She is his portal to heaven.” - quote unknown.

My presence here is rooted in a lifelong journey to reclaim my femininity within the confines of a numbed out society. From overcoming childhood abuse to healing from life-threatening illnesses, I’ve navigated diverse challenges holistically. As I exit my mothering chapter, and enter the priestess years, the lesson resounds – we must continuously nourish our inner waters to heal ourselves and the world.

These teachings echo through my blog, The Local Rose, where thousands of women on similar journeys have joined. More about the course here.

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Growing up in Iran, my American mother understandably stood out. She was different due to her beauty queen features, California ways, and mostly for her gorgeous, straight, pearly, white teeth. I’m talking like a Farrah Fawcett, optimistic- in -a -way- only -Americans- can -possess, Weston Price-approved -mandible way.

My Iranian father on the other hand, with his small, frail incisors, always had teeth issues. He used to tell us how as children they would steal the chalk off the blackboards to rub on their teeth or to eat. The teachers had to lock up the chalk after class, due to this common predilection. As a child I was curious why this was such a coveted treat among Iranian village children. Today it completely makes sense to me, that the growing children, craving the naturally occurring calcium mineral content, intuitively desired chalk. Chalk is 99% calcium carbonate.

Could my mother’s amazing teeth be contributed to having access to to fluoride? The USA began adding fluoride to the drinking water in 1945, and it grew widespread to all the cities by 1960. This actually improved the teeth of Americans by 30%.

When I began my wellness journey over 25 years ago, I began to unearth the then conspiracies about how fluoride was actually a neuro toxin. I believe it was used in nefarious ways in WW2, and perhaps that was partly the reasoning with the government adding it our water. I am not completely sure, but decades ago I began to make my own toothpaste (you can see one of my early blog posts here).

I also began using reverse osmosis for my drinking water back in the dark ages of wellness. In those days, I call them the PG days- for Pre Goop days, I was considered a “hippy”. Of course today that granola method of living is now almost main stream. So much so, that pretty much everyone I know abstains from toothpaste with fluoride, and unfiltered water.

I don’t believe having fluoride running amok in our water systems is a good idea. Too much fluoride can calcify the pineal gland, and lead to many issues. We should have control of how we consume certain elements.

However, we may have thrown the baby out with the bath water on this one. If we can control the fluoride by gargling with tiny bits, and spitting it out, perhaps we can help our teeth tremendously. Since we aren’t receiving proper minerals and vitamins from our food due to depleted soil, then perhaps using a bit of a naturally occurring fluoride is beneficial. At one time trace elements of fluoride was naturally occurring in much of our water, earths crust, and foods that we ate.

I feel there are two schools of influencers today: those with fake veneers that have shaved down their real teeth in favor of porcelain caps; and the truly wellness folks whose teeth honestly don’t seem all that healthy. The shaving down of your teeth seems very barbaric to me. I shudder to think how those live little antennas in their mouths are suffocating inside a veneer coating. The wellness folks in their youth seem like they have lovely teeth now, but once they reach their 40s and in my case 50s, I wonder what will happen. A few years ago I had the epiphany that I wanted to make it to my elder crone years with all my body parts in tact, including my teeth. I didn’t want to have to have dentures in my golden years. I had to start now to strengthen not only my bones, but my teeth as well.

I have been really focused on the importance of my mouth and teeth for decades. In fact I had a 3d cone imaging done to see if I had some cavitations beneath old wisdom teeth sockets. I always questioned the dentist that extracted my wisdom teeth, so I finally did a scan to see if there were any bacteria pockets beneath my gums. My father used to get many things for our family through the old fashioned barter system. When I was 19, and beginning to have pain where my wisdom teeth were coming in, my Father traded commercial time for his Persian tv show with a dentist to take out my wisdom teeth. The whole scenario now seems shady, but back then we didn’t question free medical procedures. A few years ago, when I did the scan of my wisdom teeth pockets, the dentist I work with, indeed found old pockets of infection below the incision areas. I shudder to think I’ve been living with this for decades! After the procedure to clean out the pockets with ozone, I felt my energy levels rise up. Many are now suggesting that mysterious autoimmune issues, are linked to wisdom teeth or roots of teeth not extracted properly. I have heard of people getting their root canals or wisdom teeth cavitations cleaned, and finding metal pieces of instruments, or gauze remnants in the pockets beneath the gums. Our incredible, wise bodies will attempt to guide us to the issue, create pockets or cysts around the areas, but some of us can go our whole lives not realizing the true “root cause” of these warnings.

Of course today, having awakened to all the medical fallacies, I believe very few people need their wisdom teeth out. In fact my youngest daughter still has hers, and they came in without an issue. If I had listened to one dentist she would have had the unnecessary surgery to extract teeth that actually benefit her.

Many of you probably by now have heard about the dangers of root canals. In 2018 there was a documentary called Root Cause about the dangers of root canals. It was taken off all the outlets though and now difficult to find. The film discussed how leaving dead and toxic teeth in the mouth, causes serious diseases. This of course makes complete sense to me since in many medical traditions like TCM and Ayurveda, each of our teeth correlate with a specific meridian and organ in our bodies. How can we not think every part of us is connected in a profound way! In some traditions wisdom teeth are said to connect us to our ancestral lineages, and signify moving from childhood to adulthood. I also feel perhaps the common affliction of mouth breathing, and less functional jaws, is due to this now common operation.

A few years ago, after decades of using “natural” toothpastes, I began to have more issues with cavities and discoloration. The enamel has also been weak on a few of my teeth from being a vegetarian during my pregnancies. After discovering the works of Weston Price I realized how our food choices affect our jaws, teeth and bones.

Over a year ago, I discovered Dr. Ellie and her dental Protocol. At first I thought ‘well she’s a traditional dentist, so of course she would recommend the main stream products like Listerine mouthwash and Crest toothpaste’. When my dentist said I had a small cavity in a tooth that was very hard to reach, I decided to give Dr. Ellie’s protocol a try and see if it would indeed reverse my small cavity.

Dr. Ellie wisely teaches us about how acids can wear away our enamel, and how to use products with xylitol to coat our teeth between meals. In addition to Dr. Ellie’s Protocol I have been adding pearl powder to my teeth to help remineralize the enamel. I’m hoping to be relaunching a pearl and spermadine powder soon so you can have access to this powerful duo.

All in all I am now a complete convert to Dr. Ellie’s method. I know it seems shocking that someone like myself, who is such a stickler for eating only organic, and pure spring water, would be using a fluoride mouthwash and crest toothpaste. I can only say I now have no more gum issues, cavities, or pain and sensitivity. Also my teeth feel like the old school “American” teeth strong, capable, and able to bite into an apple without worrying that I’ll break a tooth.

Here are some ways to strengthen your teeth:

Vitamin d with k2 - this is a crucial supplement to take for teeth, bones immune system.

Pearl powder - hoping to launch mine soon. I’ve been using wild holistic sisters.

Protein - I try to take bone broth and raw milk.

Crunchy vegetables - this helps your salivas create a non acidic enzyme.

Egg shells - you can buy crushed egg shells or I bake ours in the oven and clean it thoroughly then grind into a powder.

Recipes from the book Nourishing Traditions by: Sally Fallon

Balancing hormones- your hormones can affect your acidity,

Dr. Ellie’s Protocal.

In case you don’t know of Weston Price’s work here is sons info: Weston A. Price was a pioneering dentist and researcher in the early 20th century whose work significantly influenced our understanding of nutrition and health. Price’s concern with declining dental health among his patients led him to investigate the dietary habits of various indigenous populations around the world. His research aimed to understand why these groups, with their traditional diets, exhibited exceptional dental health and overall vitality. Price traveled extensively to remote regions in Africa, the South Pacific, and the Swiss Alps, documenting the traditional diets of these populations. His findings, detailed in his influential book Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, revealed a striking contrast between the health of people consuming nutrient-dense traditional diets and those who had adopted modern, refined foods. Price observed that the shift from traditional diets to those high in sugars and processed foods led to a rapid decline in health, including significant dental issues, facial deformities, and increased disease incidence—often within just one generation.

A key aspect of Price’s research was his identification of the critical role played by fat-soluble vitamins, such as A, D, and K2, which were abundant in traditional diets but often missing from modern, processed foods. He demonstrated that these nutrients were essential for maintaining dental health and overall well-being. Price’s work has had a lasting impact on the field of nutrition, highlighting the importance of whole, nutrient-rich foods for supporting both oral health and general health.

Cleopatra is said to have scented the sails of her ship when meeting Mark Antony. They say that the Romans could smell her coming closer to land as the wind carried the scents of her sails. She covered the sails in an olive oil infusion of cardamon, cinnamon, pine and myrrh.

Chinese royalty tied sachets of scented herbs on their waist beneath their clothes. They also used duck shaped incense vessels, to burn scents beneath their gowns.

Marie Antoinette was said to have a custom fragrance of Rose, Jasmine, and Lavender that was a new phenomena in court. The royals wore mostly deep musks and ambers before Marie arrived.

Cleopatra’s favorite essential oil blend was cinnamon, myrrh, cardamom and blue lotus. Blue lotus was revered during Nefertiti’s reign. Nefertiti used blue lotus serum which not only smelled incredible, but also was considered other worldly. Historians said her skin glowed with an ‘unearthly quality’. Blue lotus also created an addiction with its psycho active phenols. The bacteria from the Nile was what fermented this Blue Lotus serum to make it so powerful. Today it’s impossible to recreate this skin formula due to the lack of a natural bacterial element that once existed in the Nile soil.

Over time the oil based attars moved from India to Persia where scent was connected to poetry, spirituality and gardens. In fact, some believe that perfumery began in Persia. The cultivation of roses and other sweet florals started in ancient Persia where the waters were extracted. Golab or rose water, began here then was used in perfumes, oils and creams along with ambergris and musks.

Theodora Empress of the Byzantine, had such an extraordinary life. She had a spiritual connection to sandalwood after her teachings in Alexandria. Her revelation was that Christ was a pure spirit and all God. Once she became Emperor Justinians wife, she would spend days meditating in the baths. “Then she applied oils directly to her body. Rosemary to the ear lobes, sandalwood to her forehead, Rose to her chest, Jasmine to her stomach, Lemongrass to her thighs, and Lavender to her hands and feet.” Awaken by Jones.

Helen of Troy another renowned beauty used honey as her beauty secret, and for her alluring scent. Helen who they say was: “the face that launched a thousand ships”, used the bee nectar as her secret ally.

I’ve always been a bit obsessed with Empress Sissi and similar to her, I have an aversion to strong perfumes. Empress Sissi hated perfumes in the traditional sense, so she misted her hair with waters. She preferred natural scents, and used the floral waters of orange blossom, rose and violet. Violet was her favorite flower and scent. The Greeks have always associated violets with Aphrodite (Roman Venus), the goddess of love and beauty.

Catherine de Medici was said to use the dark occult ways to seduce. These were rumors created by her enemies. It is said though, that she also she brought the art of scents to the French Court from Italy when she became Queen of France. The Dominican friars of Santa Maria Novella created a scent for her bridal gift. The fragrance (you can still purchase at Santa Maria) called “The Water of the Queen” is a complex formula including oil of Patchouli, Amber resin, Honeysuckle, Magnolia, Rose, Iris, Frangipani, Gardenia, Musk, opoponax, Tuberose, Vanilla, Orange blossom, Pomegranate, Lavender and more. After some tragedies, they said Catherine kept her mind keen by bathing in fragrant oils. She drew strength from her faith in God, and her perfumers and alchemists. She is said to have helped create the first scent laboratory in Grasse France which is now the perfume industry’s epicenter. Also Catherine made working with herbs and flowers acceptable, since they were murdering many women for using oils and herbs in other countries like Germany.

I’m so moved and intrigued by the use of powerful plant allies. It seems the most incredible women of ages past had a spiritual connection to scents and oils. I always loved the idea of how priestesses would wear certain vials of protective oils beneath their underclothes. It makes sense that we use these beautiful, bountiful, herbs and flowers as teas and tinctures, so why not as scent magic too. If I’m having a hard day I will go take a whiff of a very precious, sacred vial of blue lotus and it can instantly shift my mood. We we know from the Myrraphores of ancient times, the uses of oils, resins, herbs, are a lost art that are so needed today.

More to come on part 2 💐🥀💐

I used to have visions as a child. I once saw a city in the clouds with castles and turrets, all pastel, glittering, floating above me. Perhaps it was another reality opening up, a quantum shift. Perhaps it was remnants of an ancient civilization like Tartaria. 

About two years ago I was dealing with a matter regarding my youngest daughter. I had a very heated debate with her father and her father’s mother, regarding this issue. After the phone call I was weeping in the tall grass by the oaks, on our land in Texas. I then had another vision, but this time there was a voice with it. It was an angelic being,  telling me that we needed to protect our younger ones regardless of backlash. That I would be possibly hated, and ridiculed, but that I had to be a voice of reason in this dark abyss. The being also showed me that there is indeed a battle between dark forces, and part of the plan is to destroy humanities connection to the feminine. The true divine feminine. This is happening for the male population too. At the rate we are going, humanity is declining. The birth rates are at an all time low, and infertility is at an all time high. 

I recently did a pre -interview for a publication, and the journalist asked me what do I want to see happen in our county. Without a doubt, besides cleaning our food and water systems, it would be to ban pesticides like atrazine. This poison is making it so male frogs turn into female frogs, and it’s deforming the sex hormones. This poison in our fields and run offs into our water systems, is mutating humans. Boys born with micro penises is now prevalent, and linked to this pesticide and others.  Atrazine is banned in the EU, but still used in the USA. That would be first on my list. 

I’m trying not to go down a ‘conspiracy’ path, but as I watch the celebrities and influencers of today, mostly women, actually shrinking in skeletal size, I wonder: Are these dark forces now erasing women through a beauty standard?’ Yes we’ve had the ‘thin’ boyish look, of the flapper years of the 1920s; the ‘heroin chic’ of the 90s, but what we are seeing now is a shrinkage in skeletal systems with the wide spread use of the GLP’s etc. Also in the 90s we had another vision to inspire which was more realistic like the Monica Bellucci and Beatrice Dalles.

Using certain peptides if you are obese or diabetic is completely rational, but to see so many ‘wellness’ influencers, micro dosing to lose those extra 5 lbs, reminds of the Covid years. It broke my heart, to see so many yogis and spiritual teachers fall prey to the pharma manipulation with the shot. In the last month they are stating, due to current studies, the Covid  ‘shot’ is going to have a black box warning on it. That is alarming. After the ‘safe and effective’ mantra being what was shouted from the rooftops. GLP is also said to be ‘safe and effective’. 

The problem with the overtly and definitive erasure of our bellies, and soft folds, is that is also the elimination of our hormones. Our hormones reside in our fat. Again I’m not advocating for an overweight standard (that was touted and failed a few years ago), but more of a natural feminine form, that is adhering to specific bone structure etc. As the character played by Maria de Mederios in Pulp Fiction said: 

“bellies are sexy.

Fabienne:  I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did “Lucky Star,” Fabienne: on a woman, a belly is very sexy. 

And yes, who doesn’t think Madonna in her Lucky star era wasn’t a sexy being!? 

In the Renaissance time, showing a curvy woman in paintings was a sign of luxury and abundance. The woman mirrored the wealth of society. A healthy, fertile feminine form was demonstrating there was food on the table. What are the shrinking women of today telling us? Our society is collapsing? Food fit to eat doesn’t exist anymore? Not to mention these latest drugs shrink all that gives the feminine form its lushness. It shrinks the yoni, the tush, and fat in the face. Is it preparing us for Ai robotic forms to be a standard of beauty? 

As I have written here, I do respect certain medications and advances that are available in our modern times. I personally feel HRT under the right circumstances, can save a woman from mental instability. Those forms of bio hacking though, have been around for over three decades. Not three years. 

I personally have gained 7 to 8 lbs since dealing with hormonal shifts, and a lack of fresh farm market produce living in Texas. Im embracing this new chapter in my feminine form. I do though also work on staying a healthy weight with some concious choices. Here are a few things that I use to help my metabolism. I do like to feel good in my clothes, so even though I don’t obsess about weight, I do try to keep a standard that feels good for me. Again I’m not trying to shrink my form, but keep my metabolism healthy and my body toned. 

I like to take: 

1) Berberine in the morning on an empty stomach. I’ll try to fast until 11. I do this for a month or so then take time off.  Fasting I believe at certain times in our cycle is beneficial, and other times taxing. Dr. Mindy Peltz has some great info on this subject.

2) Matcha does help the suppression of my appetite in a healthy way. I like to make one in the morning using my favorite brand, that sources from conscious farms in Japan. The brand is called Cosmic cultures. 

3) Daily walking. I used to be better at this in California, but I do try to use my walks for a natural lymph movement, and a mental therapy session with myself.

4) A shot of apple cider vinegar before meals. 

5) castor oil on the belly. This really helps with inflammation and bloating. I do a pack a few nights a week and I use the brand I trust Queen of thrones. 

6) Once a month I take one of these aloe pills to release anything stuck in the intestines. Super aloe by ortho molecular. Do not take more than one! 

7) I used to do coffee enemas often for pain management, but now only once every few months. 

8) magnesium in the evening. I like the bio optimizer that has 7 various magnesium strands. 

9) A womb massage and dry brushing. 

I think honoring our earth is symbiotic with honoring our feminine forms. Trying to teach our children this today is a feat; but creating beauty around it is the surest way. 

The rain here feels biblical, and tears are streaming down my face. Yesterday I prayed for the flow of water to feed our dry creeks and nourish our orchard. Yesterday I lit a candle for Anahita the Persian goddess to end the war in Iran and bring us rain. Ananhita is the ancient, Persian goddess of water, fertility, and wisdom.

Lately I’ve been having anxiety and visions from the water spirits. They have been sending me messages in dreams and revelations. You see, the darkness today, the wars today, aren’t just the ones with military complexes. The wars today are being fought over the priceless resources in this last remaining haven of America.

I have those days where I think:” I need to move to a village on Mallorca or Tuscany”. I want to walk to an old village, and be able to buy fresh produce and cheese. I then go online, and start searching for land with spring water near the sea. I start fantasizing. And then I remember. . . I remember what I always feel after a trip to Europe. Europe has civility, old stone villages, and extraordinary food; however, it doesn’t have the vast sky. In Europe you don’t see coyotes, mountain lions or wolves that often. You don’t find arrowheads on your walk by the creek, or a Bald Eagle flying above. Most of Europe’s wildness has been tamed. Like a once great bear I saw in a cage on a reserve in Africa. The bear was rescued from a Russian circus, but had to live the rest of his days in another cage made by man. His old coat was shedding and drab, and he looked tired and retired.

America is one of the last vestiges of the true wild of the old worlds. That’s when I wonder: “is the dark plan to use America as the world’s data center?” We don’t have the laws yet to establish safety from the big cyber companies. In Europe they aren’t allowing data centers to pop up in every corner. Here we hear of foreign countries buying up farm land. For what purpose? You hear of the fires in Nebraska, the biggest one in the history of time, (yet it’s not on MSN) destroying cattle ranches, farms and homes. You hear of hundreds of data centers going up every day without the citizens knowing the real risks. Texas and California have the highest amount of centers, and I’ve read that by October, Las Vegas will be done for. The data centers near Vegas have emptied Mead lake, and since the Colorado River feeds it, they will have no drinking water left in a few months. The Colorado River is fed by snow, and there was little to no snow this year.

In a town a few hours from us, a cowgirl fought big tech and saved her town from becoming a data center. She did it for her horses. When she realized the effects the center would have on their water system.

A farmer in Kentucky turned down 26 million from a data center developer and another in Pennsylvania turned down 15 million. These people are the true heroes of today. They are the ones I honor not ‘influencers’ using AI to make a post. https://www.newsweek.com/farmer-explains-turning-down-millions-data-center-developers-11540045

The data centers not only suck all the water from the aquifers, rivers, and creeks but the constant hum destroys the lands for miles and miles. They say the low hum leads to cancer, madness, and destroys the nervous system. Imagine what it does to animals and the soil? The data centers need water to cool the servers, and it’s estimated that every time you use chatgp or Ai you are adding to the waste of water. Google uses 2.7 million gallons of water a day. Let that sink in. Is it really worth you asking it a question and not using your own intuition? Would you rather have a shower, or have AI write your essay? Has the dull anesthesia of convenience really made us question whether or not we need water?

My discussion with the lovely Elyssa Jakim touched on all of this, and brought in the idea that convenience is rotting our brains. We also realized us who refuse to succumb to these convenience are the last unicorns. She is a copywriter that is hired to make writings look less like AI and more human. That boggles my mind!

I know there are some conspiracies that say we actually have limitless water. If that were true, we are still decades away from accessing that water. In the meantime what will we drink? How will the folks in Las Vegas cook their food, or wash their hands?

As you know I have had a profound connection to the waterways since I moved away from my beloved sea. I created a course on how to honor the waterways within us. I had the deep epiphany that water is a deity, and with the Sun and Moon what gives us life. I pray to mother Mary daily, and she comes from Mer the sea. I wonder if the darker forces want to suck out all the life giving water here. Like straws in our aquifers, we are seeing it happen in real time. If we all take a stand, and say no to the conveniences that have become necessities we can keep these lands and ourselves alive. If not for our sake, then for our children’s sake. To have our children experience the things we take for granted like swimming in wild rivers, and seeing blue lakes in the mountains. It’s not too late, but we must awaken now. We must learn that conveniences are the death of our earth and humanity itself.

Here are some links to get more info on how to help.

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I personally feel that creativity is aligned with the divine. If we aren’t constantly creating and birthing, then we are numbing out in stagnation. This is why in ancient times the muses were honored and revered. Many muses were nymphs associated with water, since water breeds creativity. I dive deep into this in my course Waterways of the Feminine mystique. 🧜‍♀️

Recently on a lovely talk with Elyssa Jakim, I realized the ways in which the muse comes to me. It’s never, ever, from scrolling on social media. In fact, one of the most insidious pitfalls of AI, is its siphoning our creative powers. We think it’s helping us with a project, when in fact it’s recording these brainstorms for a future entity. Our unique creativity is the most human thing about us, and yet it’s being secretly siphoned. Elyssa and I go deeper on this topic and I can’t wait to share it with you all. The irony of all is Elyssa is a writer, who gets hired now to make certain things look less like AI. What a confusing time this is!

So when do I get an idea, or spark of intuition to create? This happens to me when I’m walking in nature without my phone. This happens when I’m in water whether it be the ocean, bath, or a river. This happens to me when I’m traveling on a plane, train or car. In other words when we are in the alpha/theta state. When we can relax our egos enough, to allow the purity of our spirit to speak.

This spark of curiosity also happens for me when I see a woman dressed in a unique way. Design and fashion in a way that isn’t a repeat of a instagram post, but rather a form of storytelling. One of the challenges of living rural is not seeing enough fashionable details. I remember being in my early twenties and soaking up so much inspiration from women in New York City, Florence and Paris. This is when we didn’t have phones, and we would read Russian novels in little East Village cafes. We would catch glimpses of a chic artist in a vintage rayon floral dress, or a cool, handsome, model in some old man, pin stripe, wool pants from the 1940s. These characters would spark a tale we would then weave using our imagination. Imagination is a muscle we must always keep strong and supple.

A few months ago I was showcasing my line at the lovely store in New Mexico called Living Threads. I saw an older crone walk in with a halo of white hair. She instantly that sparked my interest. I realized I had been starved for someone with authentic, chic, taste. This woman who was probably in her early 70s, was wearing a vintage kimono, and her hair in a bun in a 1900s style. She had on silk, gauzy pants in a pastel lavender, and authentic Japanese Geta shoes. I nearly swooned when she stopped by my table. She asked me about my line and I asked about her style. She said she only wore Japanese inspired clothes, and then showed me an old textile and had just purchased from a gallery close by. After our encounter I felt the desire to go deeper into my recent obsession with Japan. That interaction then led me to research Japanese ingredients which may lead to a future product. That moment also inspired me to finally commit to a visit to Japan. I was there when I was eighteen, but I’ve been wanting to travel there in my latest incarnation.

Here are some ways I call In the muse:

1) First of all . . . who is your muse? Ask who she is and how she shows up for you. Is she a goddess from the Greek pantheon, or a ballet dancer you see at the grocery store? It could be an amalgamation of many archetypes. It could be yourself when you are connected to spirit and the natural world. It could be your feral self that emerges on the full moon, or a poetic part that is sensitive to all that is alive and good.

2) Create an altar for your muse, with fresh flowers, seashells and light a candle 🕯️ for her.

3) I have two journals. One for my daily thoughts and one just for creative notions. This is where I can jot down ideas or inspiration for future projects.

4) Watch films that are in the realm of what is sparking your interest. As I mentioned Japan has been in my head and heart these days. These are the films I’m watching: Shogun, Leonie, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Last Samurai.

5) Try not to be on your phone if you’re in a cafe or traveling. People watch. This is a lost art but very helpful. Though sadly most people are on their phones, and dress alike, but once in a while you’ll see a character.

6) Using flower remedies like Iris, Wild Rose or Turkey Bush can help inspire the Muse.

7) Be around other creative beings whom you can have deep conversations with. Drinking tea, cacao or wine can help call in a collective muse.

8) Make sure your lower chakras are not blocked and that they are flowing with energy. Our creative center comes from our womb space, so by keeping hips fluid, we can enhance that cauldron of creativity.

9) Daydream, daydream, daydream. We have lost the art of daydreaming. One of the things I love to do (though I haven’t lately) is microdosing mushroom 🍄 and laying on the earth to watch the clouds. If you don’t have any real clouds where you live, do to geo engineering, (this is real thing, now on government websites) then go to a body of moving water. Being next to the negative ions from water can be so helpful in helping creative juices to flow. You may think that just being, and not doing, isn’t productive, but in fact this is the terrain that is needed to start the process.

10) You cannot be in a creative space if your nervous system is on alert. Calming our bodies to allow the flow is crucial. I like to make Oatstraw teas to help with this.

11) Playing! I rarely do this but it’s my desire to. Childlike activities like coloring, dancing, clay work, gardening, ice skating, puzzles, all help get us out of our analytical selves into a more flow state.

12) Don’t censor yourself. It hurts my heart seeing my youngest daughter give up on projects, because of her inner critic. I really feel we must sometimes just create for the sake of creating. I would never have started my business if I had listened to my inner critic. I went with an inspired idea, to make something beautiful without self judgement. Yes we may fail, but the crucial part is in creating that pearl. After all a pearl is so precious, so beautiful, whether it is a glowing, baroque or a delicate keshi.

Yesterday was the day that the Islamic President of Iran was killed. Yesterday was the day that Iranians cried and sobbed in the streets in gratitude for feeling closer to having a free Iran. Yesterday was the day we all begin praying for a swift end to this operation in the Middle East.

I found myself very emotional and remembering certain strains of memory, not unlike hearing music from afar. I had memories surface from my childhood in Iran. Memory is such a fascinating marker for being human. The way it can just arrive, unannounced, in your mind out of nowhere.

Yesterday on my walk on the sunlit sidewalk, I remembered a meal once prepared by an Auntie in Iran. The turmeric and saffron color, the smell of fresh cooked rice. The scent of fresh cooked rice is so subtle and distinct. This Auntie that made the dish, had a story like no other. As a young teen she fell madly in love with her cousin. She was forced to marry an older man. After having a child with that older man, she finally escaped one day. After much drama, she was able to be with her soulmate cousin. She was parted from her child though, not unlike Anna Karenina she paid a painful price. The cousins then had a tumultuous relationship spanning decades resulting in three girls. One of the daughters Tamila and I were like sisters. Tamila was my only connection from Iran in America . . . More on this tale in another essay.

Another memory surfaced; one of seeing my Persian grandmother’s spirit in front of me, in an old village in Tabriz. She had just passed away in the main building, but I swear I saw her standing in front of me in the stone outhouse, at the same time she had crossed the threshold. I was around seven, so I had a close connection to the other realm. I have my Persian Grandmother’s ring. Her name was Zahra, and I wear her ring often to connect with her guidance.

Another memory that came through was of my father asking me what my favorite color was. He was going to buy a car, and wanted to buy one in my favorite hue. It was blue. Always blue. The color of the sea, the color of turquoise, the color of both my daughters’ eyes, the color of the wings of Kingfisher birds, and the color of melancholy I carry in the deepest part of my heart.

Maybe it’s the plight of a refugee to never feel at home, while at the same time easily able to make a home anywhere. To constantly ask ‘is this home? Is this where I belong?’

One of the habits I have, is when driving or going for a walk, I like to peek into strangers’ homes. I love to get a glimpse of someone’s interior style, or everyday life through a window or partially open door. I like to imagine what it would be like to live there. I like to imagine the comfort of their particular mundane moments. I know, it’s odd, but strangely soothing.

Yesterday I went up to Topanga to see my dear sister. I met my partner at her wedding eight years ago. It’s ironic I met him in the mountains where I was raised (after the age of ten), to then move so far away.

In Tongva, the native language, Topanga means ‘where the mountains meet the sea’. The Santa Monica mountains were so emerald green, the most vivid green, from the earlier fires and recent rain. I have many memories of these peaks snd valleys. Memories of hiking the terrain with my parents. Memories of taking mushrooms as a teen, and feeling feral and wild. Memories of locking eyes with a mountain lion. Memories of going to go get pizza at the only restaurant there called Rocco’s. Topanga has now been discovered, but somehow I feel the natural world will always have the upper hand.

My friend and I walked among the oaks, ferns, and wild sage. We both agreed that we are truly at a magical precipice. Being the ages we are, we really truly understand how fleeting it all is. We know how precious life is, and yet we are still young enough to enjoy it. To still easily be able to climb among the boulders like goats, and take deep breaths of the Pacific Ocean air. We both agreed this is the gift of being in our 50s. That this is the time to do all the things we’ve dreamed of. We cannot wait for anyone anymore. To do All the things like: learning to speak Italian, walk through Kyoto, grow flowers, swim in Kauai, love our children but also allow them to be adults, fight for our planet, hold our sisters close, honor beauty, become physically strong, and most of all be present and in gratitude for each moment. Ultimately to be at home in the most important house of all. To be at home in our bodies, hearts and souls.